Curved Ball Scenarios and Creating Your Coping Mechanis...

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Curved Ball Scenarios and Creating Your Coping Mechanisms

by Clara Rufai

· Articles

Let's talk about Curved Balls.

If you're not familiar with them, as in, if curved balls don't show up now and again in your life, I suggest you go check yourself - because you might be an alien! 😲
Hahahahaha! 😂

Seriously though Shine-Star, I know you'll agree: Curved Balls are a fact of life. Can't even be helped if we tried. 🤷🏽‍♀

Kinda reminds me of a popular line in a very old poem from 1785 by Robert Burns:

'’The best-laid schemes of men and mice often go awry'’

Life often surprises or challenges us with Curved Balls. They may show up as difficult or unpleasant situations, and can totally disrupt our well-laid plans. Problem for anyone, but especially if you're the kind that likes to see your ducks all nicely lined up in a line as straight as the edge of my secondary school teacher's ruler. 😅

Can I confess? 👋🏽
I've been dealing with a few curved ball scenarios lately. It is potentially huge and promising, but there's also some 'pain' involved. I'm talking about the pain of making decisions, leaving a comfort zone, hunkering down, keeping my wits about me, applying tunnel vision, working both hard and smart, pushing through and persevering till I come out the other end - THAT kind of pain. 

And to be absolutely honest, I'm half excited and half scared by it all - probably not surprising, as an opportunity for change often comes laced with those twin emotions of FEAR and EXCITEMENT. (yes, fear and excitement - life is not always straightforward is it)😏

Funny thing: I have a song that's been playing over and over in my head the last couple of days now (maybe it is trying to tell me something).🤔 

Anyway, it's a song I love, from the 1956 movie 'The King and I', and it goes like this:

Whenever I feel afraid
I hold my head erect
And whistle a happy tune
So no one will suspect I'm afraid. 

To be honest, for most of us normal humans, this is how it often plays out (don't be shy to admit you can relate) 😉😏 👇🏽

While shivering in my shoes
I strike a careless pose 
And whistle a happy tune 
And no one ever knows I'm afraid.

You may ask: "Is this the same thing as that dubious yet popular advice of 'Fake it till you make it' "?

Nah, not at all. I don't believe it is. This is different. It is directional, it is empowering. It is Intentional. And it is deliberate. It is a genuine attempt to put things in perspective, in order to gain control when things seem a bit unsettled and unsettling. 

As I've personally discovered: 

"Perspective is key, it changes everything it touches upon. Use it freely. Use it often." - Clara Rufai

The song continues:

The result of this deception 
Is very strange to tell 
For when I fool the people 
I fear I fool myself as well

Whenever we 'play happy' in the face of inner turmoil, or when we 'play courageous' in the face of 'inner fear' we may feel a little silly. We may even feel inauthentic, but it  IS a strategy and it works, trust me.

It works because your subconscious mind percieves it is being given a command. It perceives that you have taken back the reins and you are in control again. The Commander is back in the driver's seat and back in charge! 😅 That somehow changes your internal state. Calmness returns. Your internal vibration changes. Feel good hormones are released. Your challenges may seem smaller. They may not disappear, but you may find that you are able to access CLARITY to better analyse your challenges as well as COURAGE to decide to take whatever action is necessary and right for you in the circumstances. 

I guess this is what the song means when it says: 👇🏽

I whistle a happy tune
And every single time
The happiness in the tune
Convinces me that I'm not afraid

It gets even more 'explicit' here 😉👇🏽

Make believe you're brave
And the trick will take you far
You may be as brave 
As you make believe you are 

REMEMBER: 

"You may not have DONE enough (yet), but you ARE enough" 
- Clara Rufai​

I'm speaking to you as I speak to myself, encouraging you as I encourage ME🙂

Stay in the game. 
Check that your inner compass is tuned to the right frequency.
Stay connected with your "Why".
Keep doing.
Keep being.
Ask for the help you need.
Sometimes standing in one spot is catching your breath. Other times standing in one spot is losing ground - only YOU can tell!😉

Needing extra juice?

Take a listen to this episode of my Shine Capsule podcast - it might help you gain perspective. Feel free to share it forward too.

https://www.clararufai.com/blog/when-life-throws-curved-balls-3-keys-for-staying-in-the-race

To Your Brilliance
Clara Rufai 
The Shine Strategist